Boys, Boys, and More Boys

I always love being able to spend time with the little guys. I find it rather familiar. I have a gameroom full of rocky horses, train tracks, trucks, and dinosaurs; but, as you probably could guess, the boys would rather move rocks.




I had a pile of rocks in my backyard. They first put them into a cart and pushed them to one side of the yard, unloaded them, loaded them back in the cart, pushed them to the other side, and unloaded them again. They did this over and over and over. After awhile, they decided to build a mountain out of the rocks for their animal friends. They spent about an hour building the mountain. It had to be just right. It was so much fun watching them be creative with just a pile of rocks. I even offered them a snack and some juice, but they said, "No thank you." Can you believe it!? They passed up a snack for a pile of rocks! Jacob never passes up a snack. About an hour before their daddy came to pick them up, I had to bring them in. They were filthy. I put their shoes in a plastic bad with their socks. Washed their little faces and hands, and dusted off their clothes as best I could. I guess it would be good if they brought a change of clothes from now on. They had such a good time and I had a great time just sitting back and remembering when my own four boys would have spent the day doing the very same thing.

Just Thinking

Friends come and go as life fades on.
We’re all just puppets in this world, fates little pawns.
They say everything is a choice, but I didn’t choose.
This isn’t what I wanted, to be pushed and used.
People always say that life isn’t fair.
Just like the changes in the season
They tell me everything happens for a reason.

The sun rises, and falls, flowers bloom and wither.
The sound of life, the smell of death, the feeling of one’s love,
The sight of time passing by, the bitter taste of hate.
These are the five senses we love so much.

I just want to understand, I want to know why.
When the heavens rain, I hear the angels cry.
People tell me to be calm, then to let it out,
But not to yell, scream, or shout.

So many questions not enough answers.
Don’t worry about the lie it’s just one little fib.
This is the life we accept, the life we live.
To see, to want, to take, and never give.

- by Nathan Dean


Sometimes you wonder what is going on in the mind of your children.
Then you get a glimpse and you still wonder.

The Easter Bunny Got Ate!!!

I've been reluctant to write this story because it seems when I tell it that many are disturbed by its content and cant bear the ending. But I was raised in a country town and growing up we understood, excepted, and even found pleasure in the cycle of life. So here it goes...

I'm not in favor of Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny. Due to work schedules, we ended up celebrating Easter the Monday following Easter Sunday. This worked great for me because I could keep Easter completely separate from the egg hunt, which I do love. So, being the grandma that I am, I bought plastic eggs and filled a basket full of toys for my precious grandsons. I couldn't wait to watch them hunt eggs. If you read our egg hunt account from last year, you will recall that my sons did most of the hunting, while Jacob & Michael just opened them and ate the candy. I felt certain that this year would be different. I knew that if we could just get them to find the first egg, they would understand the idea behind it all: FIND MORE EGGS, GET MORE CANDY. It was such a delight to watch them. They did figure out that they were supposed to find the eggs, but it was a pleasure to see that they had not yet realized that it was a competition. Each time one would find an egg, he would run over to show the other one. They would stand and look at the egg together until they were reminded of the fact that there were still lots of eggs out there. BUT, the real excitement began when my old cat, Spooks, came running across the front yard with a tiny, baby bunny in his mouth. Michael, who notices everything, saw Spooks and yelled. I ran and clapped at Spooks and he immediately dropped the baby bunny. The bunny sat very still for awhile waiting to see if it was safe to move. Spooks finally wandered off when he realized that I was going to stand guard until he did. The boys were watching from afar waiting to see what the bunny would do. When the little bunny felt safe, he began to hop away. Then suddenly, out of no where, Shadow (the young and spry cat of mine) sprung on the bunny and darted away. There was no stopping him. He was young, quick, and hungry; after all, he'd been eating adult cat food for months and he wanted some meat. Before I realized what was coming out of my mouth, I said, "The cat just ate the Easter Bunny!" You should have seen the eyes on my grandsons. It was priceless. But you have to admit, we don't have to deal with that Easter Bunny dilemma next year!

Get a Job!

On Saturdays, while Joette is working, Stephen takes care of the boys. They usually run errands together. Naturally, every time they go into a store that has toys the boys find something they want. Stephen usually responds with "Get a job". One day while in Academy, Jacob found something that he wanted. After being told he had to get a job, he asked his daddy "Would you give me a job?" Stephen answered with, "Sure, I'll give you a job". The following Saturday, while in Academy again, Jacob asked for the item that he had so coveted the week before. Stephen responded with the usual, "Get a job" but this time he was caught by surprise when Jacob responded back with, "I have a job, you gave it to me." Stephen couldn't help but laugh. Jacob might not know what a job is, but he knew for sure that his daddy had already given him one and that he could now have the item he so wanted. It makes you wonder what else they think we are saying, when we think we are being so clear.

It's Greek to Me...

Joel and I are studying Greek. This is quite hilarious at times. Due to the fact that I've home schooled for over 20 years and have done grammar 100's of times, I am quite able to figure out the grammatical portions of the new language. Joel on the other hand, who can't even get the 24 letter alphabet in order 2 times in a row, wants to pull his hair out with the grammar. Does the preposition end with the nu or the omicron?? Maybe it's not a preposition at all...maybe it's an epsilon. No it can't be an epsilon, that's a letter in the alphabet, not a part of speech. And on and on it goes. Then when we get to the vocabulary portion, I'm the one who wants to pull her hair out. You can tell me that arneomai means to repudiate, but if you don't know what repudiate means, then it is of no value. We are quite the team. I tell him the part of speech and how the word functions in a sentence and he tells me what the word means. I love the way God fills in my weak areas with Joel's strengths and vice versa. It really has been fun, but an incredible challenge as well. These old dogs don't want to learn any new tricks. The best part of it is that we are doing it together. The older we get, the more precious this time becomes.

Basking in the Sun

Jason is the son that is most like his dad when it comes to being spontaneous, carefree, and quick witted. This quality in his dad was a gift to one who attempts to be overly organized and plans to the smallest detail, but this quality in a son at times was just plain exhausting. But now that Jason is older and touring the states with his bass, his Bible, and hopefully an extra pair of boxers, it has become a source of joy in my life. He randomly calls me from places I have never seen nor usually heard of. Just the other day, while we were enjoying the effects of a cold front and 3" hail stones pelting every car we own, he calls from Southern California. He had been basking on the beach and wanted to make sure that he shared his little bit of sunshine with his mother. Some would say that he wanted to gloat or remind me how wonderful his life is, while I continue to deal with the drudgeries of laundry and chores; but I beg to differ. I think he called so I would smile. I cheerfully reminded him that soon I would be basking in the sun of Daytona Beach while he will be shivering in the wet cold of Washington State and Oregon. I love to hear of his travels. I have two sons that are mostly far from me these days, but they know that they are always near to my heart. There were times when I thought I had failed as a mother and that Jeff would be so disappointed in the job that he had left me to do, but now I know otherwise. I'm excited for Jason and I will always love the fact that he lives his life and doesn't stand on the sidelines just watching the game.

Maybe, Maybe Not

I was so excited to hear from Brandon today. It is few and far between when we actually get to hear his voice. He is excited to be counting down the days to graduation and I'm looking forward to actually being able to see him. While on the phone I asked a lot of questions because I stay very confused most of the time when it comes to his military commitment. Here is my understanding of things as they are now, but if you know anything about the military then you probably know that "maybe" this will happen, and "maybe not". On May 1st, Brandon will graduate at Fort Benning, Georgia from Army Basic Training. From there he will be allowed to spend about 10 days with us here in Texas. We will leave on the 12th of May to move him to D.C. His orders are to report by May 20th. We will stop along the way for the graduation of Brian, this is the husband of my niece, Loren, from Marine Basic Training. Brandon & Loren have been close friends since birth and therefore, Brian is very important to him as well. He is really looking forward to being able to be there for his graduation. I refer to them as Todd & Copper from the "Fox and the Hound." They became friends before they new they were expected to be enemies. They will pretend to act as their branch of the military expects until they are alone, then they will go back to being friends instead of rivals. HaHa! Brandon's base is located in Virginia, just 20 minutes from where Brian and Loren live. He will report in D.C., but live in VA. This couldn't have been more perfect for Brandon. He is really looking forward to being so close to his two closest friends. Brandon will stay with Loren & Brian until the 17th of May, then he will report to his base. This is 3 days early, but it saves him some vacation days for in the future and vacation days are precious to our soldiers. While in D.C., Brandon will continue his education. He will complete is Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice/Sociology and then start on his Master's Degree. While attending school he will be training in other areas for the military. His plan is to train in Combat Diving and Airborne. He loves diving under water and in the air, so both of these are perfect for him. He is very excited to be given the D.C. assignment. He will be responsible for protecting the capitol of our great country until further notice. It is such an honor to have my son serve this nation so that I may be free.

News from Brandon

It's always good to hear from Brandon, but I was particularly moved by a quote that he included in his letter this time. We here in the United States of America quickly forget why it is that we are allowed to live in such freedom. My son will now be part of the reason. Here is the quote:

"We as citizens of the United States must never forget that
it is the soldier, not the reporter that fights
so that we might have freedom of the press."
"It is the soldier, not the poet that fights
so that we might have freedom of speech."
"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer that fights
so that we might have the right to demonstrate."
"It is the soldier that fights for our nation
so that protesters will have the right to burn its flag."
"It is the soldier that fights and dies
so that freedom may live."

Brandon also reminded me of the irony behind that quote; that the soldier fights for those freedoms for everyone, no matter how they use them. Some use them for the good of others and some use them to spread hate and selfishness.

Michael's Boo Boo

I will try my best to relay the story of Michael's boo boo as it was told to me. It was a Sunday afternoon and Joette was working leaving Stephen home with the two boys. They had been typical three year olds that day, running through the house laughing, screaming, & bumping into one another. Daddy warned them that if they didn't calm down they were going to get hurt. Suddenly, Stephen, whose in the laundry room, hears Michael scream from down the hall, "I'm hurt, I'm hurt!" This was a familiar scream so Stephen said his normal little "Oh, you'll be fine!" But this time was different. Jacob comes running to daddy saying, "Daddy, Michael's hurt." Stephen, "He'll be fine, Jacob." Jacob, "No Daddy, Michael needs you." So Stephen heads towards Michael and realized rather quickly that he had split his eye open. He goes up to Michael, who now is covered in blood, to check him out. Blood is running down his face and as he blinks it from his eyes, he looks at his hand and seeing the blood screams, "My hand, my hand." Stephen had to really keep the laughter back. He knew it wasn't too bad because Michael didn't even realize it was his eye. Stephen then looks around the house for a bandaid. Now who do you know who has two, let me say that again TWO three year old boys and doesn't have bandaids? Stephen then loads up both boys into the car, Michael holding a towel to his face and takes them to Walgreens. It must have been a sight to see. A daddy and his two little boys, one bleeding, walking through the store. Finally he found the butterfly bandages and fixed him up. Michael is proud of his boo boo. I can tell because everytime you talk about it he growls at you.

Stephen & Joette Say "I Do"

My oldest has taken the plunge. I must admit is was one that I was not sure of at first. I talked with him and prayed a lot. I only wanted what was best for him. There are now two women who love the same man, but we love him differently. As the time got closer I began to have real peace with God. I've always loved Joette. She has always made me laugh, we can be together with ease, she loves the little boys, and she will always feed Stephen very well because she loves to cook. I wasn't concerned because of who she was, just because they had both married before and I wanted them to know that this was the one. Well, the day of the wedding came and it was great. I saw the look in my son's eyes that I had been looking for. He so wanted to marry Joette. The boys were excited that they were getting married. This has been a good thing and I'm so happy to have Joette and my little Michael in my family. They have set up house and Joette has become a wife to my Stephen. Jacob & Michael are brothers!! I can't wait to see what God brings to them as a family. They are good for one another and we are blessed as a family.

'Til Then by NathanDean

Life & Death are such a mess.
Who are you to decide what's best?
You say you love me,
You say you care...
Then you leave me standing there.

It comes so quick, so unexpected.
So many things were neglected.
You never said goodbye, neither did I.
Next time we meet, will you even say "hi?"

I guess the time will come when I know.
'Til then, I'll say "goodbye."
One day we'll meet.
One day I'll see...
The one who means so much to me.

He'll tell me stories, I'll tell him jokes.
Maybe we'll even sit and have a coke.
I hope you know me, I hope you're proud.
For so many times I have cried out loud
For the man who never said "goodbye"
But left here in his Looney Toon tie.

In memory of my dad.

"Grandma Stephen"

Today my grandson, Jacob, was jumping on the couch. Something he has been told time and time again not to do. When I walked into the room I shouted, "Jacob Stephen!" He looked at me and said, "I'm not Jacob Stephen!" I explained that he was Jacob Stephen when he was in trouble. Later today he asked if he could have a cup of juice and I told him, "No, you haven't finished your milk yet." He looked at me and said, "Grandma Stephen!" I laughed so hard. Grandma was in trouble and he wanted me to know it. It's a good thing he's only 3 or their might have been a different reaction from his grandma.

Time Does Not Heal All Wounds!

As we approach the anniversary date of the death of my Paw Paw, I'm reminded of the foolishness of man's wisdom vs. God's wisdom. Time does not heal all wounds. Having experienced the loss of the one I loved, I know that time has not healed my precious Maw Maw. God has been gracious to her. He has blessed her with 3 wonderful daughters who look after her and spend time with her to ease her loneliness. He has given her sons-in-law to help her with anything she needs. God has also rewarded her with many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, with a loving church, and many precious friends. But all of these things do not heal the wound in her heart. I've watched my Maw Maw live out this past year in a way that would honor God and His will for her life, but I have also seen her loneliness in the midst of a crowd. I have seen her turn her head away from those she loves so that they would not witness the tear rolling down her cheek. I know that she desires to be here with her family, but also longs to see my Paw Paw again. Their love was not the love you see in this day. Today you have temporary, conditional love. Love that is only given when the other party does what is pleasing. But once one's selfish desires are no longer being met, the love moves on. My Maw Maw & Paw Paw's love for one another was bigger than that. It was the kind of love that stayed pure in the midst of war. It was the kind of love that held together when there was little or no food to eat. My Maw Maw once told me that she and Paw Paw never told each other no. He did what he thought was right for the family and she did what she thought was right for the family. She said that you could be sure that if either of them acted out of selfishness or ignorance that their decision would give it's own consequence. They allowed each other to make mistakes and learn from them. They were committed to one another in the way that the Bible requires of us. Jesus will never leave us or forsake us, and we are commanded to act in marriage the same way that Jesus acts towards His church. My Maw Maw & Paw Paw are the only two people I know thus far who did this to the end. I miss having their lives lived out in front of me. I have gained much wisdom through them both. But even in the absence of my Paw Paw, his love for his family remains with me. Many lessons that will never be unlearned, but hopefully practiced until I too can leave this earth as loved and missed as he is. As for my Maw Maw, I will take full advantage of the time that I still get to have with her. She is dear to my heart and loved more than she can possibly know. She has been my rescuer at times without even knowing it. She has been my strength when I thought there was no strength to be found. She has been my earthly guide to the truth of God and His word. She has always been my "Maw Maw."

Brandon Recruited by the Old Guard

Brandon has been in basic training for the past few weeks. He was required to take a military mental exam. His score was one of the highest in the nation. Because of this score he has been recruited by the Old Guard. This is the unit that protects the President of the United States & ambassadors and performs ceremonies & funerals and gets to travel the world to do so. This is a very high honor. This also increases his likelihood of being recruited by the Special Forces or the FBI in the future. He must now score high enough on his physical exam for the recruitment to go through. I'm very proud of him.

AVP in Concert

Tonight Jason's band, Artist vs Poet, played at the Door in cowtown. I took my son, Nathan, and a few of his friends. My sister went with me as well as my parents. Tina (my sister) and I had a blast. She's rather silly and fun to be with if you get her a way from life's troubles. We had a picture made with the famous "Milton" and acted like teenagers.

I so enjoyed watching Jason and his friends play. Jason is the one who has always just grabbed life by the horns and wrestled it to the ground. If he's not having a good time, it's probably because he's asleep and even then he's probably still having fun. He's such a "fly by the pants" guy. I tell him that it's a good thing that he lives in a 15 passenger van because that puts limitations on where he has to look for all the things that he can't find. He managed to inherit his daddy's love of life, but he also got his daddy's forgetfulness.

I haven't seen them play in a while. They have really grown together as a band. Jason just lights up the stage. Okay, maybe I'm a little biased, but he's so cute! All the band members speak to me, which says a lot about the kind of young men they are. I know they have better things to be doing than acknowledging my presence, but they take the time to do it any way.

Jason is definitely in his element. As I said in my post about Brandon, as a mom I pray for 2 things: the salvation of my sons and that they are happy. Not only is Brandon happy, but my Jason is happy too!

Brandon's in the Army

It's been awhile since I've blogged. Since the last blog, Brandon has enlisted in the army. I've always known this day one come. From the time he was 3 years old he has talked of being in the army. He loved reading Hardy Boys and read them hundreds of times. This just reinforced his love for doing deeds that bring about good for others. Some have asked if this has been hard for me. I must admit that when he was sworn in, I cried. I don't know if I cried because it was now official, or if I cried because I was so proud of him. (Probably a little of both.) No mother wants their son to be in harms way, but I have learned from having four sons that they are often in harms way. They have stories that really concern some when they hear them. But the bottom line is that this really hasn't been that hard for me. I am convinced that this is the will of God for Brandon; and if it had not been, it just wouldn't have been that difficult for God to keep him home. He is excited. This is something that's been missing from his life for some time. First time he told me he had changed his plans of working for the FBI to becoming a banking man, I knew it wouldn't work. A mom knows her son. It didn't take long before his banking days became almost impossible for him to bear. His good friend, Mike, came home from the military for a visit and I could see it in Brandon's eyes. The bug was back and it had bitten. From that day my Brandon's love of life returned. I look forward to him fulfilling his dreams. As a mom I pray for two things: for the salvation of my sons, and for them to be happy. My Brandon is happy!!